We learn how to be in intimate relationships from our families, and often the lessons we learn there are not helpful in creating a loving adult partnership. Because of this, it is often difficult to establish boundaries and develop healthy intimacy. Growing up in a dysfunctional family may also create "blinders" and make it harder for us to anticipate problems or cope with trouble.
After the initial glow of the courtship fades, most couples find that they need to learn new skills to create a satisfying relationship. Many couples come to treatment after avoiding or arguing about problems for many years, and they are discouraged or looking for a way to justify ending the relationship. If you are considering couples therapy, there is still hope. And even if you ultimately decide that you must separate, the way that you do this can have a lasting impact on you or your children.
When infidelity occurs, both partners are struggling. But there are many other types of betrayal that can damage a marriage. Making a commitment to another person always involves some amount of loss and pain during the course of the relationship. This is inevitable as we age and unavoidable in every partnership that perseveres over time.
Trust is a key element of intimacy. It is possible to restore trust, but it takes work by both partners. We usually want problems "fixed" quickly, but simple solutions are rarely lasting. Therapy can provide an opportunity for two people to become closer and to re-negotiate their spoken and un-spoken commitment to their relationship and to their future together.
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